Wednesday, August 13, 2014

I've Got the Joy Joy Joy Joy....Why Don't Those Depressed People Just Turn to Jesus?

I really want to just go to bed.  It's late.  Tomorrow is the first day of school for some of my crew.  I'm  sleepy!  As I have seen the many references to Robin Williams today as the world mourns his passing, I have been increasingly feeling a need to address something.  I don't want to, so I am arguing with God.  I am not a medical doctor nor a psychiatrist, nor am I a pastor or other learned Biblical scholar.  My teeny little blog has 12 followers.  Yep, 12.  My words aren't likely to change the world.  They will be difficult, and force me to pull out and look at some stuff I much prefer to keep shoved in the way back of my mental closet.  Ann Voskamp wrote a great article which I encourage you to read here:    http://www.aholyexperience.com/2014/08/what-the-church-christians-need-to-know-about-suicide-mental-health/    Surely it is not necessary for pitiful little me to add to the words that have been said already.  But God.  Funny how things are usually more for me than for anyone else.  Apparently I must do this before I sleep.  So here we are.

There is a phenomenon I have noticed in the church.  Those who suffer with mental disorders/illnesses, clinical depression, as well as addictions are seen as those who need Jesus.  If only that had that saving faith, or enough faith, or got serious about their relationship with Jesus and allowed Him to meet their needs, they would be OK.  They could stop leaning on the crutch of substances or alcohol. they would turn from their melancholy and be filled with joy, they would no longer have suicidal urges as they would have new life, this is the genuine perception.  Well meaning people think they know the answer and are looking for ways to share it.  This leads to facebook post, tweets, blogs, and all manner of social media activities that reflect this point of view.

There is a problem with this assumption.  It is simply not true.  Do people need Jesus?  As a Christian I believe the answer is absolutely YES.  Is it possible for Him to miraculously heal the mentally ill or the addict?  My answer is absolutely YES.  On the other hand, are there people who have a real relationship with God through Jesus Christ, who depend on Him daily, seek to walk in His ways and His truth, and still suffer from debilitating physical illness.  My answer is absolutely YES.  Now chance the word physical to mental.  Again, my answer is absolutely YES.

If you, or someone you love, have never suffered with a mental illness it is very difficult for you to understand the severity of these diseases/disorders.  I am not talking about a period of being sad and "depressed".  I am not talking about the emptiness of money and fame leaving one hollow and wanting.  I am referring to the serious medical conditions such as Bipolar Disorder, Clinical Depression. and many others.  If you have been touched by the indescribable pain of a brain that is not functioning as it was designed to, I don't need to say another word.  If you haven't, you need to understand that when you say things like "they just need Jesus" you are adding insult to injury.

I read an blog post today that insisted that those who commit suicide are ALWAYS making a choice, and a very selfish choice at that.  I can see how a person could come to that conclusion.  I believe that is often the case.  Again, I am not medically trained in any way, and I don't presume to be a theologian.  I have read accounts of those with no previous mental illness who encounter circumstances in their lives that they believe leave them without hope who take their own life.  That is not the situation I am referring to.  I believe wholeheartedly that their are others whose minds do not function properly.  A very frustrating component to the mental illness I have witnessed is that SOMETIMES they do.  And SOMETIMES they don't.  The person that is ill has no control over which SOMETIMES they are experiencing.  There are mitigating factors, of course. Do they have access to medical care?  Have they been prescribed medication?  Can they afford to have the prescription filled?  Are they taking the medication, and taking it properly?  Even if the answer to every one of these questions is yes it is not a foolproof process.  The human brain is so very complex. Medical science has come so far in our lifetimes, but we do not seem to have begun to explore the depths of the brain.

I want you to know that is is possible to love Jesus, to serve Jesus, to seek to honor and obey Jesus with your life, and at the same time suffer with an illness in your mind that renders you a completely different person from time to time.  It is possible to so lose control over your thoughts and your mind that you engage in behavior that you would never consider "in your right mind".   Those who suffer this agony are tormented enough without others making them feel that if they only had enough faith they could overcome their medical condition.

I have not experienced this personally.  While I have suffered from what I would call "circumstantial depression" on occasion, I have never felt the full blown clinical depression that incapacitates, that threatens to extinguish all hope, that would lead a person to do that which is in opposition to every self preservation instinct.  I don't know how it feels.  I have not walked in the shoes of someone with schizophrenia, or personality disorder, or bipolar disorder.  I know that I cannot truly understand what it is to deal with this, except from the outside.

I do know what it looks like from up close, though.  My sister suffered, was tormented by, lived in agony much of her adult life, due to what was diagnosed as bipolar disorder.  I didn't understand it even as I watched her struggle.  She knew Jesus.  She trusted Him.  Her faith was genuine, and she walked in it to the very best of her ability.  She begged Him to take the illness from her.  She wept.  She pleaded.  She was angry and the unfairness of it all.  She struggled to get appropriate medical care from a system that is broken and did not serve her well.  We would talk for hours about the Bible and what God was doing in her life.  At the same time she would literally not sleep for days.  Many days.  Way. too. many. days.  So she would drink, to end the mania.  Even though she kind of liked the mania, if the truth be told.  Addiction and alcoholism are often hand in hand with bipolar disorder.  Sometimes she would drink even when she wasn't manic.  The mess of the disorder spun and spun her world into a chaotic mess even while she sought God and His ways to try and put a stop to the madness.  Some days she was "herself".  Some days she wasn't.
June 21, 2013 was her last day.  While I do not believe she intentionally caused her own death, there is no doubt in my mind that in her "right mind" she knew that drinking as much as she did was dangerous, and that possibly mixing drinking with her medications was even more dangerous.  Yet she was not in her right mind that week.  That day her life here ended.  I have no doubt that her absence here means her presence in heaven.  Not one doubt.  I know her faith was real.  Her issue wasn't that she needed Jesus.  She needed better healthcare.  She needed access to medications that could help manage her medical condition.  Without them, she died.

I do not know Robin Williams.  His tragic passing has brought this issue to light, however.  I am deeply sorry for the pain his family is going through.  I do not know where they stand or where he stood on issues of faith. Mr. Williams shared that he suffered from bipolar disorder and addiction.  To those who say his comedy was a "laughing on the outside while empty on the inside" I say do a little research on bipolar.  This is a common thing.  Do an internet search of famous people with this disorder and I believe you will see similarities.  This illness is difficult to manage even with the finest medical care available.  

To be sure, I believe the world needs Jesus.   It also need compassion and understanding that being a Christian does not automatically lead to a life free from suffering.  For some, that suffering comes at the hand of mental illness.  Let us not add to the suffering.

Goodnight.

Followers