There are so many times that while in the midst of life,
times when I am purposefully attempting to serve God, my wicked heart rears its
ugly head and I cringe at how easy it is to sin. I mean seriously, I am doing spiritual
things, working hard for the Lord, making a difference, and BAM my flesh rises
up and to my utter sadness and humiliation shows itself for all to see. It would be so much safer to simply keep to
myself. I could manage to breeze in and
out of Sunday worship service and no one would likely the be wiser. With my
church mask on I could continue with my pet sins, you know the ones, that my
family knows about but I can mostly hide from everyone else safely hidden away.
But God is not content to leave me in alone with my sin. He calls me to not neglect meeting together,
as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of
his return is drawing near (Hebrews 10:25).
I could operate under the assumption that going to Sunday morning
service fulfills that mandate. However,
it is in the trenches, as I serve alongside and live life with my brothers and
sisters, that real encouragement and real growth occurs. If my sin habits are never exposed, how can
Proverbs 27:17 happen? As iron sharpens
iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.
There are times when I am bumped and the ugly spills
out. When I’m tired, or under pressure,
or overwhelmed, or have a headache, or just plain selfish that ick that the
Holy Spirit is working on with me can become visible. For me, perfectionist Type A, keep all the
plates spinning and balls juggling me, that sin is a tendency to be sharp and
abrasive instead of soft and gentle. I
hurt people. Oh, not on purpose, never
on purpose. Nevertheless, my take charge
motor gets going and I charge on and I say things I later realize are just
plain rude and unkind in tone and/or in content. Sometimes I can see it myself, and sometimes
I am completely oblivious.
Why would I write a post about this? Am I so eager to share my own sin with the
world? No way! I would like nothing more than to pretend it
didn't exist. Refusing to deal with the
hurt I may have caused others or the shame and embarrassment of behaving in
ways that hurt my testimony would be the easy thing to do. Simply avoid anyone
who may have seen my dark side, now there’s a plan my flesh would like! It
doesn’t like to be pruned or refined or sanded.
It feels icky at the time. Really
icky.
I am so thankful that my fellowship, my koinonia, offers me
the opportunity to be sharpened. I am
grateful for sisters who do the hard thing, and speak the truth in love. That is what we are supposed to be about,
dear women. I don’t know what your sin
struggle is, but I know you have one (or like me, many!) Maybe you have a soft and gentle tone and
would absolutely never snap or be short.
If so, thank the Lord for making
you that way, or working through that with you.
Whatever your own temptation may be, when others see it, despite the
extreme discomfort it brings, they can be used as the Holy Spirit refines
you. We must not neglect meeting
together, nor sharpening one another, no speaking the truth in love and
encouraging each other. We must choose
to lavish forgiveness on each other .
Not fakey “it’s OK forgiveness” because we think we have to say it. What a rich treasure we have indeed when we
can walk out our faith and our struggles in front of each other with love and
accountability and forgiveness. When it
comes to sinners, I am the worst. I am
agonized by that knowledge. I am,
however, blessed beyond measure by my Lord and my sisters.
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