I am really tired of feeling sabotaged by by own family. This "fight" to change to healthy habits is hard enough just fighting my own desires, without having to deal with battles with my household. Whether it is a husband who wants to bring home chocolate cheesecake, a date night with movie popcorn and multiple boxes of candy purchased for dinner, a son who takes the "fitness water" from the fridge, or kids who cannot simply follow their morning routines (The same ones required EVERY morning) while I am on the treadmill for a measley 30 minutes) and a husband who picks that very time to head out and run an errand (for me, I know) - I am very discouraged.
I realize this will sound whiny. I could quote much scripture to remind myself of the proper attitude, perseverance, etc. Right now it all "feels" like blah blah blah to me. I am just being honest. It seems like over the years whenever I have tried to make a change in this area my home becomes the biggest battle zone. I REALLY don't want to spend the holidays frustrated and upset with my family. Why does this happen? It is not helpful for anyone to eye my dinner plate and aske me, eyebrows raised, if that is a palm sized portion. It WOULD be helpful for others to try and avoid bringing junk food around me and perhaps come alongside me and make it easier for me to invest time on exercise. We are supposed to be a team.
So, that's where I am today. Yesterday was so stressful I didn't follow my eating plan at all, didn't exercise with 4 8:00AM dentist appointments, and had movie night for dinner. Maybe I shouldn't share how I'm feeling today, but I am not going to just show the "plastic" shined up for public side of this journey. I'm a real person, with very real struggles and failures. Perseverance is definitely NOT my natural tendancy.
Right now I don't know where I will go with this particular adventure. Having a rough day,
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One more thing. Despite the way this post sounds, my family is not doing this to me intentionally - I am confident of that. It is more like they are not purposing to do all they can to come along side me. I don't think they are thinking about it at all, just living life as we always have. In the end, I remain responsible for my own choices; even if someone brings in the junk food, I don't HAVE to eat it. I know all that. I'm still frustrated and angry, and having to find a way to deal with that.
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